Before you worship, make it right: Why reconciliation isn’t optional
There’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately—something I believe needs to be preached more, especially in the times we’re living in right now.
The Kingdom of God is not like the kingdom of this world.
And yet, somewhere along the way, we’ve allowed a mixture. We’ve compromised. We’ve tried to live with one foot in God’s Kingdom and one foot in the world, and the result is a diluted version of what Jesus actually calls us to.
Here’s the hard truth: the Kingdom of God requires us to die to ourselves. That’s not a metaphor. It’s a spiritual reality. But too often, we choose our flesh. We let trauma, pain, and even excuses take the throne of our hearts instead of Jesus. We allow our emotions to speak louder than the Word of God in our lives. I’m guilty of this too! But something is shifting. The fear of the Lord is beginning to realign me. It’s not the kind of fear that pushes me away—it’s the holy kind that draws me to repentance. It’s helping me surrender the parts of me I’ve tried to keep hidden. God is teaching me that if I truly want to live for Him, I can’t keep serving my old ways.
2 Corinthians 5:17–20 reminds us:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us.”
Reconciliation means restoring broken relationships—between God and people, and among people themselves. Through Jesus, God reconciled us to Himself, and we’ve been given the ministry of reconciliation. That’s huge! It means we’re called to help restore what’s broken, not only between us and God but between us and others.
Jesus made it clear in Matthew 5:23-24:
“So if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and while there you remember that your brother has something [such as a grievance or legitimate complaint] against you, leave your offering there at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
That hits hard, doesn’t it?
Reconciliation isn’t optional for the follower of Jesus. It’s actually part of our worship. We can lift our hands, sing the songs, serve in ministry, and give generously … but our worship isn’t complete—and it’s not fully acceptable to God—if we’ve refused to reconcile with others.
Jesus didn’t say, “Pray about it”. Or “Let time heal it.” He said, stop what you’re doing — even if it’s worship — and go make it right. Why? Because God cares more about the condition of our hearts that the appearance of worship and righterousness.
God doesn’t want our performance—He wants our hearts in right standing. He wants peace, unity, and integrity in His Body. Our worship isn’t complete if we’ve left a trail of broken relationships behind us. We can’t offer God our best worship while still holding onto bitterness, offense, unforgiveness, or pride. God is not impressed by how well we sing or how much we give — He’s looking for a heart that is pure, humble, and in right relationship with others. That is the worship that pleases Him.
Now, let me say this—reconciliation doesn’t always mean the relationship will be restored back to the way it was, and that’s okay. God isn’t asking us to put ourselves back into situations that are unsafe or unhealthy.
Let me be clear: if you are in—or have been in—an abusive relationship (whether it’s sexual, physical, emotional, or mental), reconciliation does not mean returning to that relationship. God is not calling you to subject yourself to continued harm in the name of peace. He is a God of justice, protection, and truth.
For these types of situations, reconciliation can simply mean forgiving the person, choosing to release the bitterness, and letting go of the offense so it no longer has a grip on your heart. Sometimes it looks like drawing a boundary, releasing them to God, and moving forward in freedom—without re-entering the relationship.
Our part is to seek peace as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). That may involve a conversation, a letter, or simply a private moment with God where you choose to forgive and let go. Whatever it looks like, the goal is freedom—not forced connection.
Romans 12:18 says:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
And it's important to understand what Jesus was actually saying in Matthew 5:23–24. He wasn’t just talking about forgiving those who hurt us. He was saying that if we know we’ve hurt or offended someone, or if someone is carrying offense because of something we said or did—we are responsible to do our part in making amends. Reconciliation isn’t just about releasing others; it’s about humbling ourselves to make things right.
So, here's where I’m challenging myself — and I hope you can do the same: before I run to the altar with my worship, I will be taking a moment to check my heart and ask if there is someone I need to forgive, apologize to, or release.
I’m choosing to let the fear of the Lord lead me to real change. I don’t want to just talk about the Kingdom—I want to live it. That means dying to self. That means choosing peace over pride. That means making things right when I’ve been wrong.
Is God speaking to you about any areas of reconciliation or surrender? Let’s grow in this together.
